last day of May

31st - the last day for May

SO in order to celebrate this special day, I allowed myself to eat much!

meaning that not thinking of my diet plan

( actually I'm just trying to find excuses so that I won't feel too guilty )

the target of losing my weight to 47kgs was stressing me a lot

but of course that wasn't the only reason causing me to be moody

not going to talk more about these in this post

let's see what I had done with my H4 gang today!

okay, just for u guys information,

our class was having pastry class this noon

and we baked 3 types of pastry items

I'll explain in details on the procedures in my next post

wait for it ya :p

my class today was just from 12 - 6pm

joining some of my friends to help hwee teng to move to her new condo

actually I didn't help much but I did take many photos of them

had my dinner with them at "Grandpa Cafe"

just ordered a bowl of red bean soup as I ate too much since this morning

received tutorial question & assignments from my cutie just now

then just I realized that I need 48 hours per day!

not kidding!

I got so stressed since this semester started 4 weeks ago

I still haven't done my tutorial for tomorrow class yet

so I'll have to wake up much earlier than others to complete all the question

GASTRIC is attacking me when I'm editing this post

I think this is signal from God asking me to rest earlier

nite all

^^

a c t u a l l y

yup!
A C T U A L L Y - the most suitable title for this post!
actually I have lots to write!
but I just don't know how to start
actually I don't really like to smile recently
but I'm forced to fake my smile
actually I hate!
but I can just pretend as I like
actually I'm stressed
but I pretend as I'm ok
actually I'm not strong at all!
but I act like no one/ nothing can hurt me easily
actually I can eat a lot
but I just stop myself from eating so much
actually I care how people look on me
but I act like I don't mind
actually I enjoy hanging out with friends
but tiredness seems to be stopping me always
actually I'm fat
but I just don't want to admit that :p
actually, just actually!
actually, I miss home ♥

S H A R E ♥

★胖子没资格吃！等你瘦了再说。

★你们给我挺住，都别吃。都那么肥了怎么还有脸吃！

 ★我跟你说，这是个残酷的社会。你别以为有真本事怎么着，外表更重要。
★女生一定要爱自己你就记住：。胖子没前（钱）途你再有本事心地再好，也是只是个好胖子！。

 ★不管年纪，漂亮是必须的。减肥也没有借口，你能把自己吃肥就一定能瘦下来。30多岁的女性应该比20岁女生更有智慧，你应该知道这个社会对女性多挑剔。必须瘦，不要想太多。

 ★减肥关键就是饿，运动是最没用的，最多是辅助。但你想靠运动瘦下来，不可能。

 ★没人能帮你，只能靠自己。如果你不想我喊你胖子就从现在开始别吃了。喝水吧就，饿就去睡觉。

 ★如果你和我说你不能忍饿问我怎么办，我只能说那你别减了。

 ★你们要自己加油。要证明给自己和一些傻X看。就算以前是胖子也会有瘦下来变漂亮的一天。

 ★要瘦一定要付出代价的。怕吃苦的太娇气的就不要开始了。没有好方法，就是忍。不要问我怎么忍，就是不要去吃。

 ★大S是一天一香蕉吃3个星期。所以你看，就是要忍。为什么别人能你就不可以？

 ★看美女一个个活得更滋润，为啥？美女漂亮自然一呼百余辆车接送，任她挑选。你呐？拖着臃肿的身躯和妄图隐藏肥胖的厚厚大衣挤公交车？还是自己在大冷天只能冒着漂移的危险慢慢开车迟到？

 ★其他女人都能瘦下来你为啥不行！你是白痴吗？你天生就该当肥猪吗？

 ★女人不对自己狠心，男人就会对女人狠心。

 ★你难道就喜欢别人对你不堪入目的身材指指点点？就喜欢看着自己喜欢的男生被自己厌恶的女生抢走？就喜欢每天对着肥大的裤子把自己粗壮的腿塞进去？就喜欢夏天穿个包得死紧的衣服大汗淋漓走在烈日底下？就喜欢身边的脸很丑但很瘦的女人穿着你穿不进的美衣？体重3位数的女人没有未来！只有对自己狠一点！

★不瘦下来不准买新衣服！不瘦下来不准再做头发！你就一直做一个穿过气衣服的土的掉渣的死胖子吧！

 ★控制不住嘴巴的人就别闹腾着减肥！这不是纯恶心人吗！活该！死胖子！活该你这种人就只能对着那些X的的美衣流泪！夏天要到了！你那像腿就别自讨没趣地穿裙子了！你就不怕有人在背后悄悄惊叹你的勇气么！我比你瘦！比你努力！你活该这么丑！
 ★有男朋友的胖子！***再长肥你男朋友就不要你了！你当他说你胖胖的很可爱！说你体型刚好是真的啊！你是没长脑子还是咋的！你男朋友要170CM200J你看着可爱不！

 ★没男朋友的胖子！***为什么没男朋友知道吗！你张这样谁要你啊！现在外貌协会的男人遍地都是！你看看大腿上的肥肉！小腿上的肌肉！你是青蛙还是癞蛤蟆啊！你看看你那肥死人的胳膊！你怎么不去当相扑啊你！

★刚被男朋友甩的胖子！哇哈哈哈哈哈！你终于被甩了啊！你男朋友是只吃只拉的造粪机你也想甩了他是吧！还在痛苦里暴食？！那你就等着下个男人也甩了你吧！

 ★吃？你有资格吃么？有脸吃么？不觉得自己恶心么？还想不想要脸乐？还想不想让内些看扁你的人大吃一惊？

★美，瘦了一点有什么用啊，才不要听别人虚情假意的说，你好像瘦了一点。瘦一点有什么用，听就要听别人说，哇啊！你好美哦！那样才是美得冒泡。

 ★要瘦就得付出代价受不了就继续在胖子行列混，反正世界上胖子这么多，也不差你一个。

 ★爱吃的女人！！多爱吃吖，少吃一口，能怎样，能死么？多没吃过东西吖，从小到大，亏着你了么？怎么就那么不要脸，吃吃吃，看看自己的肥脸，你有什么资格吃！！死肥婆！

 ★一个人连自己食欲都控制不住，还跟牲口有什么区别？

 ★要么瘦！要么死！

★照相不敢咧嘴笑是吧！裤子不敢穿浅色的是吧！这就是胖子最大的悲哀！你知道那些瘦子为什么比你瘦吗！因为在努力劝你吃点东西照顾身体的时候，她自己却找借口尽量不吃！就算吃了也是素，而且象征性地一点！

 ★没办法！人家瘦子！胃小！再不克制就一辈子羡慕别人吧！

 ★饭量再控制，少吃一口，能怎样，能死么？她们吃是有资本，你个死胖子，当你没瘦下来时，只有忍饿的份，你不对自己狠，别人就对你狠！

★当你对美好身材的渴望远远大于你对食物的渴望，你就可以成功减肥。减不下来那是因为你对美丽的渴望还不够强烈。

 ★一个女人如果连自己的体重都控制不了，何以掌控自己的人生！
 ★其实在你想放弃的那个瞬间，告诉自己再坚持一下再坚持一下，也就过去了。
just came across this post in FBstating that written by xiao s but actually she has nothing to do with thisbut I totally agree with what the author wrote!fattie has no qualification to eat!if you grow fat because of having excessing food, you can slim down by doing the opposite way!if a woman can't control her body weight, how is she going to control her life?drink more water if u are hungry!if you can't stand the hunger, just sleep!
control what you eat!be cruel to yourself or else others will be treat you in a crueler wayactually when you are about to give up,just tell yourself that the wonderful world is waiting for you after this~I lose 4KGs in 2 weeks after all my hard workso my weight is 49KGs nowhappy happyshowing this as the evidence -->

some updates about my status

I was quite busy recently
but I just didn't know what am I busying with
24 hours in a day seemed insufficient for me


health status :
I started having fever on Wed night
but no worries, I recovered on Sat morning
that was why I managed to go out & eat so much with Dave
needed to thank Jakson here
he reminded me to take the vitamin which he gave me
such a caring guy ^^
of course I wouldn't miss out Dave
he did advise me to see a doctor
but the stubborn me refused his suggestion
since fever was not a big deal for me


mood status :
actually not having good mood recently
weather, studies & some friends caused me moody
they didn't understand me well & conversely, I was the same too!
the weather recently was either too hot or too cold
the subjects for the last sem made me confused
friends?
no comment about that
sometimes I just didn't know why they enjoyed suffering themselves
but none of my business
I'll be satisfied
as long as my babes & dears whom I care so much for them are in good condition
I love to receive good news from them ♥


more new posts coming tonight!

- W e B c A m -

this was how I spent some of my time on the previous days

let's start with the very 1st one

my new friend - Sean ( xiao q )

not going to explain the reason I called him as xiao q  :p

spent my time webcam-ing with him since I came back from my meal with Dave on Saturday

we chatted a lot & I would say I had a nice chat with him!
we didn't chat like strangers

instead, we talked like old friends

( but that was just how I felt, didn't sure if he had the same thought too )

anyway, thanks so much to xiao q for chatting so much with me

the 2nd - Nelcles

I did introduce him in the earlier post

a friend of mine whom I just knew recently

that was the 1st time I webcam with him

BUT~

the lagging line caused me not having a nice chat with him!

I hate that!

& I believe many of my friends will agree with me

especially facing situation like this

finally the last one - bing bing

we chatted yesterday

just a short 10 - 20 mins video call

as I was quite busy with my stuffs

didn't talk to him for quite a long time

he was always busy with him work

so it was hard for us to contact so often

as usual, he teased me a lot

but I just enjoyed myself with that

as we say, " no joke no fun!"

hubby, read here!

this short paragraph is for you

when are u going to spare a day to have the video call with me?

I miss u so much & I know u miss me the same too

do remember to take new photos always

so that I can update myself with your latest look

love you ♥

- lazy sunday -

woke up quite late this morning

felt lazy when I saw my clothes spreading on my roommate's bed

immediately turned into bad mood mode as I woke up

not having a good start for my day

but not a big deal

life still goes on even though I was not in my mood

sorry to those who were worrying about me because of my previous post

I was just emo-ing due to some reasons

anyway, I'm alright now

thanks for concerning me

couples do quarrel sometimes

so just don't take it so serious

I have get used to such situation dy

don't worry for me as I'll be strong enough to face everything

don't feel like eating the whole day

my meal today :

- 200ml of lime cucumber yogurt drink

- 1 blueberry yogurt

- 2 tomatoes

just random writing today

don't actually know what I'm writing too

- off for bed -

s o r r y ?

does saying sorry help in anything?

I'll answer NO for sure

I don't need your sorry

you should know how much I hate this word

but
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
please don't say that I request too much from you
& don't say I bring troubles to you
girls are sensitive, that goes the same with me!
I do feel hurt sometimes
I never enjoy quarreling with you
be SIMPLE
that's what I want
my thinking is easy to be guessed
don't think me so complicatedly
I won't wake up early tomorrow
so there's no need for you to wake up early too
you know I always want you to rest more
sleep more as you won't  go to bed so early
that's all I want to let you know

just wondering

how would you feel if I say this back to you one day?

- sorry that I just don't love you anymore -

will you be happy with that?

outing with Dave - Sri Ayutthaya

outlook of the Sri Ayutthaya ♥

having a day off for my diet plan

went to Sri Ayutthaya Thai Restaurant with Dave for our meal

not far from my place, just located behind Carrefour

it's a bungalow-liked building

the inside of the restaurant are decorated with beautiful ornaments

on each table, we can see the fresh purple orchids & aromatic candles

love the Thai-styled decoration so much!

the servers were nice & friendly as well

short & brief introduction is enough

as the superb environment can hardly be described in words

Dave ordered the coconut juice for his drinks

the little coconut looked so cute with the purple orchid

I had chosen the refreshing starfruit juice 

^.^

For appetizer, we had the Mango Kelabu

I didn't know how to describe the taste

the taste was the combination of sour, spicy, sweet & salty

as showed in the photo, red onions & chilli padi were added to enhance the flavour

it played its role as the appetizer well

soup was served next

I ordered the Tom Yam Seafood Soup, a red fiery

a variety of ingredients were thrown in

such as squid, prawns & chunks of fish fillet

galangal and lemongrass were added for the fragrance

the ingredients mixed well to give the best taste of the soup

sincerely, this was the best tom yam soup I ever had

the first dish - Green Curry Beef

beef never failed to match well with curry

I chose the green curry instead of the normal red curry

as I just wanna try something different

the curry was thick!

not watery like the common curry

love this much

of course I wouldn't miss out fish cuisine

the server recommended this - Deep-fried Fish in Royang Sauce

hopefully I didn't write the name wrong

it tasted mildly spicy & sweet

the sauce just blended well with the fresh fish

the last dish - Baby Squids in Claypot

Dave ordered this

the baby squids looked cute, exactly baby-look

the taste was a bit spicy

lots of chilli padi could be found in the sauce

highly recommend this Thai restaurant for my friends who love Thai cuisine

I enjoyed all the dishes much

thx Dave for treating me a nice meal

I bet I'll be smiling like baby in my dream later

( dream about the delicious Thai dishes surrounding me :p )

everything about yesterday ♥

-worked my pets in FFS

-updated myself with the blogs which I followed before having breakfast

-had my clothes washed

(should have done washing them yesterday but it rained)

SO, it's time for blogging & Reborn!

let's go back to the previous day

it was lene's birthday & we had a SURPRISE for her

hope she didn't feel too sad when all of us showed no concern about her birthday

as that was the preparation for the surprise

had a celebration for her at Mellow Music Zone Cafe located at genting kelang after lecture

the environment of the cafe was just nice

I love the place seriously

the lighting & the pictures on the wall attracted me

the overall decoration got me crazy

found myself so relaxing at that cafe

quite an ideal place for group gatherings & parties

(it was just perfect if we ignore the not-so-well designed washroom)

okay, enough for the bull shit description

back to the scene

the celebration was not so high at the beginning

everyone was busy chit-chatting among themselves

curious about what I was doing?

photo-shooting?

yes, but not much photos of mine taken as I looked sucks without make up >.<

so what I did was taking photos for the others

one more important task for me - helping my cutie laopo to change her bloggie design

finally get everything done after my hard works

quite a good experience as I learned something new

I joined the gang's activities after that

beer & cocktail time after they had their meal

we ordered 3 buckets of beer to make the birthday girl drunk

the situation was funny when some of them 'fight' for the beer later

(they seemed like not willing to drink at the beginning)

I agreed with what laopo mentioned in her blog

some of them was drunk and I finally got to knew the feeling of dealing with the drunks

luckily I didn't drink much last night

just 2 bottles but I got gastric as I ate nothing after 3.30pm

the pain was killing me

I couldn't sleep well when I was home

vomited the beer before I went to bed

gastric pain woke me up this morning!

was shocked when I saw some of my friends still manage to online after they went home

they should sleep earlier >.<

the photos taken last night will be uploaded to FB  after I edit them

just wait patiently to be tagged

some words for the birthday girl and my H4 group :

lene, we do care of you always

you are part of H4

we sincerely hope that you like the celebration last night

joan, couples quarrel sometimes

I understand your feeling

don't feel sad as we are always by your side

for you, I think you know I'm talking about you

learn to accept and face the reality

we are not little kids anymore

you should try not to be so stubborn

negative thinking doesn't help!

sorry if I'm too straight

guys, I truly enjoyed a lot last night

love the time we hang out together

hoping that we can hang out more often this sem

as some of us might not be continuing our study

don't hide from us if you are having problems

we are always ready to listen & to help

♥

I promise I'll try my best to avoid myself from getting drunk in future

of course I won't forget to have some food inside my stomach before taking alcoholic drinks :p

- sick -

sick - Day 2

last night was the first time I slept so early since I came back this semester

& this morning happened to be the first time I woke up before 7am

feeling dizzy after came back from the college

so I just did nothing except watching my Reborn on the sofa

I even skipped my lecture just to watch at home

seemed enjoying?

NOPE!

I kept feeling wanna eat the junk food

keep stopping myself but I failed at last

I rushed down to the grocery store at the ground floor & ...

...

...

bought a packet of BIKA bbq chicken flavour crackers!

one more bad news for myself - I ate double portion of food than usual

really OMG this time

>.<

but there is at least a good news for me

feel better now after sweating a lot

happy

thanks for everyone who sends regards to me

I'm touched

^^

TONIGHT TARGET : SLEEP AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE

f e v e r

feeling so hot & not smiling so much today

I thought was caused by the hot weather at first

so I didn't pay much attention to that

just realized I got fever during the last class 

my eyes were like burning!

I suffered more as I was wearing my lens

this made my eyes even more painful

arrrrgh~

- down mood -

bed bed time

1st baking & pastry class

having the 1st baking & pastry class today & I ate lots of bread!

that's really OMG as I couldn't stop eating them

maybe I got over excited as it was the my first time making own bread

we made 3 types of breads but I didn't remember the names well
if I was not wrong, they were
- red bean twist
- braised bread
- butter roll

did enjoy the process although I was bullied

my friends played with the flour & they dirtied my face with it!!!!

pity me >.<

photos will make up 80% of the post tonight :

our photos taken during the 1st practical class for baking & pastry

hope everyone in the class enjoyed it

I'm looking forward for the class on next week :p

- 3rd week -

time flies

it's the 3rd week of this semester

this means our practical class for baking & pastry is going to start

EXCITED!

I'm a good student and so...

...

...

...

I cut my finger nails short!

long nails are not allowed for hotel management student

tee-hee*

thanks so much to Roy for fetching me to Jusco

sorry for bothering you but I knew you won't mind

you are always so kind & helpful

bought a lot of Nestle yogurt & yogurt drinks today

my new menu for the next two weeks

yippi *

- mask mask time -

Diet Diary - Week 1 [ENDED]

YOHOO 

my plan of "1 meal per day" finally ended today!

down mood is saying bye bye to me

I'm in super high mood now

no more yucky plain porridge starting tomorrow

thinking new menu for next week

perhaps yogurt or potato will make my diet life better

don't wish to torture my pity stomach again

one week of punishment is more than enough

Vitamin-C from Jakson ♥

really thanks a lot TOUCHED*

I was shocked when u really brought this to me last night

just had one tablet after my meal this morning

will continue to have it daily throughout my diet life

+ + + + + + +       + + + + + + +       + + + + + + +

was moody yesterday for some other reasons

the updated timetable ruined my plans

won't be able to have my part time job 

as the tutor keeps changing the time for tutorial classes

okay, no choice but to accept that since this is my study life

I'm extremely sad when my plan of celebrating my 20th birthday at Sibu has to be cancelled as well

too bad for the cruel fact

need to postpone the dates with my lovely dears & babes until October

meaning that I've to stay at KL for about 5 months

: (

- moody night -

my mood now is just as the weather

the sky is crying and so am I

actually I'm so stressed recently

stressed because of what?

- my body weight & size

- studies

- future

6th day having one meal each day

keep thinking ways to decrease my weight

I hate my big butt & thigh!

finally can't stand it today

I cried!!!!

but I'm alright after that

this week is going to end 

which means the plan "one meal each day" is going to end too

will be having normal diet starting monday

if not I'll go crazy for sure

but I have confidence in myself that all my hard works will help

this will be my target although I know I won't have the same effect as hers

I'll be satisfied as long as my body shape looks average

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT